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06-14-2004, 05:59 AM
Religions seem to go on about a second coming, like Jesus will come back and sort us out. So, when will this be? The lazy git has had over 2000 years. Time he got off his lazy arse in heaven and paid us a visit!
MAD
06-14-2004, 07:38 AM
Hoya!

Before the third one.

Be funky

M A D
Van_M
06-14-2004, 08:12 AM
It is said to happen 3,5 years after the tyrannic globalised government of the earth forces the citizens to get tracking chip implants on their forehead or wrist. Make your own comments.
cecilia
06-14-2004, 10:03 AM
i'm waiting for Klaatu

:lol:


http://www.dreamerwww.com/images2/gort3.gif(watch out for gort!) :-o
swift240
06-14-2004, 10:14 AM
I think its just after the first one.......


Mike..... :-D :-D :-D
MAD
06-14-2004, 10:41 AM
Hoya!

Bah!

Anyway, Jesus does not exist, Ron Hubbard told me... ;-)

Or was it Osama???

Be funky

M A D
KennyR
06-14-2004, 04:19 PM
Don't be hard on the man. A second coming is never easy, not without a rest and some food.
mikeymike
06-14-2004, 04:27 PM
Before the third one.
The number of the counting shall be three, no more, no less...

:-)
MAD
06-14-2004, 04:30 PM
Hoya!

@KennyR

LOL! Good one mate! ;-)

Be funky

M A D
sumner7
06-15-2004, 06:45 AM
JonoPike wrote:
Religions seem to go on about a second coming, like Jesus will come back and sort us out. So, when will this be? The lazy git has had over 2000 years. Time he got off his lazy arse in heaven and paid us a visit!

Yeah, like tomorrow!!!! :lol:
cecilia
06-15-2004, 07:38 AM
sumner7 wrote:
Yeah, like tomorrow!!!! :lol: isn't it more like Two Weeks? :lol:
whabang
06-15-2004, 07:49 AM
When is the second coming?
Ususally about an hour after the first one! ;-)
mikeymike
06-15-2004, 08:29 AM
Let's not let this thread get too toilet-humour...
whabang
06-15-2004, 08:39 AM
I dunno about you, but I don't associate sex with toilets... :roll:

Seriously, though, I'll try to be good.

On topic:
Jesus may very well have appeared several times tha last two thousaind years. Who says that you have to remember a previous life? any of us could be Jesus, but now aware of it.
06-15-2004, 09:01 AM
any of us could be Jesus, but now aware of it.

Its just got to be DoomMaster! :lol:
T_Bone
06-18-2004, 04:17 AM
JonoPike wrote:
Religions seem to go on about a second coming, like Jesus will come back and sort us out. So, when will this be? The lazy git has had over 2000 years. Time he got off his lazy arse in heaven and paid us a visit!

There is no heaven yet supposedly. Not only that, when grandma dies, she doesn't go to heaven. That religion was created by TV. In Christianity, you don't get judged untill judgement day, and heaven is under construction untill that time.

I like TV's version better, you die and are judged on the spot :lol: Gotta have that right to a speedy trial and all.

Jesus said he prepares rooms in heaven (I guess he's the carpenter there too, you'd think he could delegate that to a subcontractor or something), and at the rate our population is growing, maybe he just can't build rooms fast enough to keep up. :-P
Thellenbow
07-06-2004, 09:56 PM
JonoPike wrote:
Religions seem to go on about a second coming, like Jesus will come back and sort us out. So, when will this be? The lazy git has had over 2000 years. Time he got off his lazy arse in heaven and paid us a visit!
Maybe the second coming is happening right now and you just don't know it. How many people believed in Jesus when He was on the earth? 120? 400? He came and went and hardly anyone even knew he was alive.
FluffyMcDeath
07-06-2004, 10:43 PM
T_Bone wrote:

JonoPike wrote:
Religions seem to go on about a second coming, like Jesus will come back and sort us out. So, when will this be? The lazy git has had over 2000 years. Time he got off his lazy arse in heaven and paid us a visit!

There is no heaven yet supposedly.

And likewise, no hell. Even if you are a total Satan lacky, the worst that you get is oblivion which is way better than the eternal torment of the Cathy-licks (spit) and other non-judaic christians. The ideas of heaven and hell are hellenic and not in accordance with the jewish beliefs expressed in the old testiment. Jesus, however, was a somewhat hellenised jew by the sounds of things and if he himself was not, then his early interpreters who "recorded" his hero stories were and incorporated a lot of greek and roman mythological content into their tales. This helped the cult of the cross take a hold in Rome.

As to when the second coming will be, according to Matthew 24:34

Verily I say unto you, This generation shall not pass, till all these things be fulfilled.

it should be a bit less than 2k years ago. Strangely, many of those who are most enthusiastic in the school of taking the Bible literally, find that this part needs to be "interpretted". Remember, the bible is litterally true except when it is being figurative (and only the priests can tell you what's what. Luther would spin!!)